I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem.

If i throw a stick, will you leave?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Don't hate yourself in the morning. SLEEP UNTIL NOON.

To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.. ..or is it?

- WEST VIRGINIA STATE MOTTO - COME SEE YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK

87% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Poo-Poo happens! (Bumper sticker seen on baby stroller)

Arkansas State Motto DON'T ASK DON'T TELL DON'T LAUGH

MICROBIOLOGY LAB STAPH ONLY

GO HOME! We'll call you when your brain transplant is ready.

I got out of bed for this?

If the shoe fits, buy it. ----Imelda Marcos

Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Life is Uncertain.... Eat dessert first!

First draw the curve, then plot the data.

I don't have a license to kill But I do have a learner's permit.

Be kind to your inferiors, if you can find any.

Where there's a will I want to be in it.

ATTENTION I-15 TRAVELERS You are entering the State of Utah. It is illegal to obey any federal statute.

 

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

IN  GOD  WE  TRUST All Others Pay Cash

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you'll find a hair stylist you like.

Brain cells come and go, but fat cells live on forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Some push the envelope. Some just lick it. And some can't find the flap.

--- wyoming highway sign --- Speed Kills! Slow Infuriates.

ALL I WANT IS LESS TO DO, MORE TIME TO DO IT AND MORE MONEY FOR NOT GETTING IT DONE.

Another Deadline Another Miracle

> After I cook the vegetables what do I do with the wheelchairs?

Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot.

As long as there are tests There will be prayer in public schools.

KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.

I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun.

Save the whales! ... Collect a whole set.

The buck doesn't even slow down here Keep Going. č

Too many freaks Not enough circuses

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

- MINNISOTA STATE MOTTO - NOT SWEDEN, BUT WE ACT LIKE IT

Nuke the Gay Baby Whales

My Mind will be CLOSED today

I'm Busy. You're Ugly. Have a Nice Day.

Quick, call a witch doctor! My witch is sick.

Jesus loves you It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.

SO MANY CHRISTIANS SO FEW LIONS

WANTED: A meaningful overnight relationship.

I don't suffer from stress. I'M A CARRIER!

I have a PBS mind in a MTV world.

BE ALERT! ..The world needs more lerts.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

- ALABAMA STATE MOTTO - LITERACY AIN'T EVERYTHING

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

If at first you don't succeed, Put it out for beta test.

Cruel and unusual punishment works better.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

The meek shall inherit the earth.. ..after we're through with it.

Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

TWO CAN LIVE AS CHEAPLY AS ONE... for half as long.

Waiter, there's no fly in my soup!   .....Kermit the Frog

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her name was, "Always".

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Can you yell "Movie!" in a crowded firestation?

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.

Come in. My day was ruined anyway.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

FREE THE INDIANAPOLIS 500

Honk if you love peace and quiet

Strip mining prevents forest fires

ALWAYS DRINK UPSTREAM FROM THE HERD

The light at the end of the tunnel is an onrushing freight train..